I Love You, Even When You Are Mad

The Cold Shoulder

There are a number of issues that have recently reared their gnarly domes. As Rose has mentioned, we lived in a house with 5 adults, 200 pounds of animals, and a baby. Which coincidentally means 2 cars, a truck, a van, a motorcycle (for sale), and a Vespa (also for sale). Adding into this that the only person, other than me, that isn’t on the decidedly introverted-side of communication is teething, and you will have a rough guide to life as Carlos.

Rockford only speaks to me in dinosaur noises that express hunger/pain/drumming, and the rest of the household has between 20 and 32 years of familial semiotics that mean most of my day is filled with the kind of silent seething that only a stranger in a strange land can truly understand. Everyone is talking at me and surprised that I don’t understand what they mean. Finally, people get mad at me for persevering too long or, occasionally for asking probing questions (nails on the chalkboard for introverts), and I am left with just this one motto to guide me: “I love you, even when you are mad at me.”

Long ago, in a relationship far far away, I used to get in a lot of fights. Many of those fights revolved around a feeling that I was being willfully negligent of my partner’s desires, many of which were inadequately defined/communicated. On one of these¬†occasions that phrase came to me, even when I wasn’t doing what-I-was-told/what-they-wanted, I wasn’t being intentionally¬†difficult.

Sometimes when we are having issues with people, we forget what it is like to not have any idea what our partner (wife, baby, in-law) is trying to accomplish. One of the things that you will hear a lot from us is that emotions just are, but actions make them good or bad. Anger is neither proof nor refutation of love. Even when emotions get in the way of clear communication, it is important to take stock of yourself and your partner to address what can be done; either a solution or just a chance be heard and return to common ground.