Love Means Helping

When I say that love means helping I don’t mean acts of service. Acts of service are easy. The object of your affection off-handedly mentions something wistfully, or pointedly, and you go out and take care of business. Simple, right?

But, that isn’t real help, that is doing. It fills the time of life and rarely accomplishes much more than that. Love as helping means hearing what is being asked as a concept, not as an action. One of my mentors from many years ago said that most interpersonal communication is either a request for or expression of desire.

When your loved one asks they are looking to be desired. When you listen, listen for the part that isn’t said. When you speak, you should do your best to leave nothing out.

If you want to be near your partner, don’t ask them if they want to move, tell them you want to be near them. If you want to spend time don’t ask what they want to do, tell them you want to do something with them. Desire is met with desire, and words of love encourage acts of love.

If you love someone, help them see it in your words, and they will return it.

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