On Why We Have Been Gone


Let’s start with the elephant in the room: Part of the reason that we have been quiet here lately (me especially) is because of the unfortunate events of last year. I am hurt and angry, still, and fundamentally offended at having been given an ultimatum to choose who gets to be my family.

I have been angry, and I have used it as an excuse to hide. That was wrong of me, and I am sorry. Writing for this blog has been incredibly difficult while working on sorting out the turmoil of the last year’s occurrences. We have spent countless hours talking about love, and the lessons we have to learn in this. I love having the outlet that this blog provides. It’s just a little hard to write about love while your own wounds keep bleeding.
It hasn’t all been terrible feelings, though. Part of why we have been quiet has been really good stuff. We came to Columbus, Ohio, and we fell in love. I saw it all the time, but when Carlos suggested Columbus, I thought, “there’s no way this little city far from the ocean is going to be as cool as he says.” Naturally, I was totally wrong. It turns out that I have a dormant love of rust-belt architecture, and there really is a difference in how people interact with strangers here. We have been actively engaging in finding and becoming part of our community. We’ve been practicing the skills needed to make friends in a city where we knew exactly no one.

As to the question of how long we’re planning to stick around here: we bought a house, which came with a whole assortment of new challenges. We own a basement! We also have tenants, and with them an opportunity to walk our talk. We spend a lot of time on house projects, on creating a space that is ours and that is welcoming and inclusive of the people who are already here. We have new loves, new draws on our time, and, oh yeah, an adorable-as-all-get-out two year old with his papa’s energy and his mama’s tendency to run away when asked “what are you doing?” A lot of the energy that might have gone toward writing about the ways that people love has been diverted into putting our beliefs into practice, especially giving our kiddo the best of ourselves.

All these things, they take up time and energy, and I have let myself let them push this project out of priority. Carlos has kept us moving forward, taking on a lot of the childcare burden while I’ve been working, ripping the hideous pink carpets out of our house, keeping up his own work. This blog, and the associated project, have been my responsibility, and I have been laying down on the job. I owe it to you, to Carlos, to Rock, and myself to do better on this thing. Thanks for sticking with us. I am incredibly lucky to have such a community of support, and I am eager to get back to doing my part in it.


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