Love Isn’t Conditional

I turned 20 on the floor of Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. I was waiting for a woman I thought I loved. It was the year following my dad’s death. I lost most of my drive toward anything. I was empty inside. … Continued

The Radar Metaphor

One of the keys to communicating with a partner is letting them know what is on the horizon. Not just the things that you have done, but some of your vision of the future. Rose and I have at times … Continued

What is Romantic Love?

I find it frustrating, sometimes, talking to people about love. The first roadblock I usually run into is getting people to define their personal meaning of love, the second mountain to climb is dealing with what romantic love means. Whenever … Continued

The Matrix of Romance and Sexuality

What is the difference between romance and sexuality? While talking with people about love there begins to be a separation between the physical side of attraction and the mental side of attraction. Even though we can use the same language … Continued

We Fought A Silent War

Our war was about secrets, not lies. Secrets that we couldn’t share. We set to battling over territory neither of us wanted. For my part the secret that I didn’t understand started to erode in 2006. I asked her how … Continued

A Tale of Two Pictures

One of my longtime passions has been visual interpretation (I did my undergrad thesis on it). I have advised many people that you can’t escape from how you look. So, when I discovered PhotoFeeler I immediately uploaded two pictures from my … Continued

Be A Dad Project Continues

Rose is back at work. This means that I am back to double duty as Dad/Marketer/Janitor/Zookeeper. Trying to accomplish 3 or 4 things at once every moment of every day. Which I love. I get to use my problem solving … Continued

No Two Kids Have The Same Parents

The first time I can remember hearing, “No two kids have the same parents,” was from Rose. It was maybe a year ago. Those words instantly seemed true, but now, with Ruby in my life, it has been very real. I’m … Continued

From the Front Lines of Two Kids


Carlos and I recently made the transition from being parents of an only child to taking on the full-time tag-team wrestling challenge of having two children. At the end of February, we welcomed Ruby, and made Rockford a big brother. … Continued

We vs. Me in Relationships

Two common perspectives I’ve seen in our interviews and group discussions about relationships are people who focus on Me and people who focus on We. That is, their perspective is being driven by either individual concern or group concern. Me people … Continued